Cassi's Jerusalem Adventure

Baka el Gharbiyya

2007-02-09T23:09:00.000-08:00

Every wednesday, for a change of pace, HUC students meet to discuss the inner-workings of Israel, to go on field trips, or to meet interesting speakers and leaders. Some seminar days are uneccessarily tedius. Some are enlightening, informative or enriching. This week's Israel seminar was a gem.

At 8am, tired HUC students hopped on busses, preparing themselves for a 2 hour bus ride to Baka el Gharbiyya, an arab city of Israel. Our destination: a College of Arab Israelis. Neil Harris gave us a truly informative lecture about the problems Arabs face, and how they are in many ways second class citizens within the state of Israel. For example, because the right to return aims to take in specifically all Jews, not only are their family members innable to immigrate, but Arabs need to pay tax dollars to support the immigration of Jews from around the world. Anyone wearing a muslim religious or with any indication that they are arab (name, for example) can be questioned at an airport for upwards of an hour, and is always in danger of missing his/her flight. They are taught Tanakh, Jewish commentaries and prayers in school, but study of the Quran is optional. They need to learn Hebrew and English --not arabic. Arab communities are given far less finantial support than the communities of Jewish communities. Most of the land in Israel is governmentally owned. If trying to open a synagogue, community or a large organization, you appreal to the government for a piece of land. The government is far more apt to give any land to a Jewish organization than to an Arab or Muslim one, regardless of what the organization promises to be.

Although I always new some of this, and always felt sympathy for Arabs and Jews who live within the land of Israel, Harris' lecture really highlighted the unfortunate aspects of their situation.

After this eye-opening lecture 4 Rabbinical students and I met with one very sweet Muslim Arab Israeli-- an 18 year old girl named Sewar, who was surprisingly open-minded, modern and western. Her english is absolutely amazing-- especially considering it is her third language- after Arabic and Hebrew. Her parents owned a business, and had many Jewish customers, so from an early age she felt comfortable around Jews, dispite the politics of Israel, because as she remarked, "if someone treats me well, I treat them well".

From left to right: David Vaisberg, Rachel Isaacs, Halayne Hashmal, Sewar, Hayley Feldman, and me.

Sewar spoke about how she wanted to study in a University, but wasn't allowed to until 2 years after graduating from high school --so that she would be the same age as Jewish Israelis who went to the army. In the meantime, she was studying english and some computers. She spoke about the importance of having her family live very close to her, and how she trusts her family with her thoughts, ideas and secrets much more than she feels she could trust anyone else. She talked about her desire to get married in her mid-twenties and to have no more than 3 children. She also spoke about her identity. Increasingly these days Israeli Arabs are calling themselves "Arabs with Israeli citizenship" or "Palestinian Arabs who live in Israel". Sewar called herself an "Arab Israeli" because she is part of the community of Israel.

There is no doubt about the fact that Sewar is a progressive thinker. She is an absolute sweetheart, who, like any other Palestinian in Israel, struggles with her dual identity. In sewar's case, she also stuggles between her old-fashioned values of her primary value to live near the entire family, despite everything going on in her life, and her more western ideas of higher education, and smaller families.

When I got home from this long day, I already had a message from her waiting on my computer about how happy she was to have met all of us. I absolutely feel the same. She promises to come to Jerusalem so that we can take eachother to some of our favorite places within. I really hope this works out. Dialogue has been breached. A friendship, I hope, is in the making.

Reactions

2007-02-02T23:18:00.000-08:00

The funny thing about being an Reform Rabbinical school in Israel, with a love of following traditional practices and minhagim is that a lot of my blog is filled with struggles of finding my own spiritual path, when that path is often against the grain. More specifically: wearing a kipa.

The other day I was sitting in cup o' joe, a cute coffee shop/restaurant just a few minutes away from school. I sat with a few friends, enjoying a very wonderful hot chocolate, when outside the window a man began to make strange gestures "Does anyone know him," Jessica asked. "No..." And then the light blub. The man was trying to get my attention. When I looked he pointed excitedly to his head, and gave me a thumbs up. Whether he was approving of my wearing a kipa, or because it was a gay pride kipa, I will never know. Whether he was American, Israeli, or from another place in the world I will never know. But it was amazing.

And just a few tables away, in a table near where Mary and many of my classmates were studying, a very different conversation was going on. An english-speaking women turned to her friend and said "Look at her. I hate this feminist nonesense. I like that I as a female don't need to do certain things like wear a kipa. Why would she do that?".

Although the reactions to my attempt to find ways to religiously express myself are diverse, they all seem to have one thing in common -- they are passionate. I feel pride in exposing people to this different model of observance. At the same time, I do not nor would I want to wear a kipa for this reason alone. To wear a kipa as a female in Jerusalem you need to be willing to make a statement. To wear a kipa as a Jew, you need to be willing to make a commitment. And to react you need to care.

Who's afraid of the big bad Cassi?

2007-01-18T22:33:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I walked home from classes, happily. The weekend was finally here. I survived my first week of classes. In fact, I really enjoyed them in a way I hadn't before.
As I approached my apartment building, a haredi man with a full grown beard, a black hat and the normative black suit was walking toward the building as well. I opened the door, and held it open for him. We made eye contact, and he quickly looked away, backed up, and darting his head from side to side, waited for me to close the door so that he could buzz upstairs to get himself in the building.
My initial reaction was sheer amusement. Here I was a female Rabbinical student, dressed in blue jeans, a winter coat, and wearing a very pretty kipa on my head. And this haredi man was petrified of me.
When he came into the building I smiled and said "shalom". "Shalom he replied. I walked in the elevator. When he was convinced that I was far enough in and he wouldn't need to make any contact with me whatsoever, he entered as well.
He walked out of the elevator, the words "Shabbat Shalom" on his lips. Despite the tension, fear, and confusion between two very different types of Jews, one thing is certain. We both have Shabbat.
Shabbat Shalom!

New semester, new beginning

2007-01-14T12:39:00.000-08:00

So yes, I admit it. I have in fact been the world's worst journal updater these past few months. But alas, the drought has come to an end. I have returned, after a truly wonderful break back home.

In two weeks, with an unending supply of support and hard work from my parents, Josh's parents, Josh my sister and all of my wonderful bridesmaids, the wedding has transformed from a potential date on a piece of paper to an exciting reality. I have a beautiful dress, a gorgeous venue with an on site kosher caterer, a fabulous photographer, a great florist, and pretty bridesmaid dresses. Val, my Rabbi, role model and mentor will be officiating a ceremony Josh and I have already done a lot of thinking about, and will continue to with her help. Seeing her was, as always, wonderful, and even more so given the circumstances. I spent time with Josh's family, and a few close friends. All in all the break was just what I needed.

And when I returned, I found myself immerced in a workshop about North American Jewry, the history and stances of the reform movement, and leadership. We listened to inspiring speaches by Rabbi Kenneret, the first female Rabbi to work in the state of Israel, and Tzipora, an educator who has transformed several schools by making herself always accessabile and by being completely invested in her students, regardless of what anyone said to her. Through their strength and solid leadership one characteristic of theirs fascinated me -- their ability to openly, honestly and with complete confidence admit their mistakes, downfalls and weaknesses. And to own them. It is all to easy to want to be a leader who is everything to everybody, but that is not possible and Rabbi Kenneret and Tzippora never for a second pretended to be anything other than human. To me that seems the greatest sign of strength.

As I took my long, lovely walk to school this morning I was excited for a new semester-- not just because starting this semester brings me one step closer to being home with Josh, although that was part of it -- but I really looked foward to taking advantage of these 4 short months that lie ahead of me. And I was pleasantly suprised. This whole year I have felt that something academically was missing. Today, as I sat in Rabbinics lecture and then in a class with Moshe on the shulchan oruch I was delighted to find that I will have the opportunity to delve into theology and philosophy--even if just peripherally-- this semester. I feel really good about all of my classes. I came home tonight and did almost all of my homework, though parts of it aren't due for a full week. I feel more like a Rabbinical student. That makes me profoundly happy.

My first dvar

2006-10-17T08:09:00.000-07:00

Today I led my first Dvar. I had a lot of fun doing it, and I like how it came out. I am also happy that it is over (now I can think about my wedding :)). I got a lot of positive feedback, and just a few suggestions about things I can do better in the future. All in all I think it went really well. You can judge for yourself:

Like any other nice American Jewish boy, Scott had a warm smile, a love of food and a strong sense of guilt. From an early age Scott struggled between two emotions: shame for his homosexual feelings, and eagerness to understand them. One day a man with a scarred face and soft voice told Scott that he knew his secret, and invited him home. Scott followed this stranger, overcome with excitement. Allowing himself to be caught up in sexual exploration, Scott ignored the risks involved. Unbeknownst to him, Scott had made a life-changing mistake: he did not make an effort to protect himself. The consequence: HIV.
In this week's parasha, Bereishit, Adam and Eve make their own life-changing decision: they eat from the tree of knowledge. In Genesis 2 G-d warns "you must not eat of it; for as soon as you eat of it, you shall die". But something in the tree calls out to them, something so powerful that they put aside any possible consequences and eat the forbidden fruit. The result: banishment from Eden.
But what was this fruit that Adam and Eve risked everything for, whose consumption triggered such a life-altering outcome? Perhaps you will be surprised to discover that no specific fruit is mentioned in the Torah. To Christians it was an apple; to Muslims, a banana. As usual, in Midrash Rabbah, the Rabbis present us with a variety of possibilities.
One idea is that the fruit was the desire to know. Rabbi Meir believed the "fruit" was wheat, a symbol of growing intellect and a thirst for knowledge. Talmud Bavli Sanhedrin 72 teaches that a when a child is able to eat solid foods, like wheat, his intellect and thirst for knowledge are quickly evolving. The child is excited to become more aware of himself and his surroundings. But the wheat has an additional quality. Wheat, in its raw form is not edible. In order to eat it, to separate what it edible from what is not, Adam and Eve had to have made a conscious decision. Drawn by their desire for knowledge, they went out of their way to eat the fruit of this tree.
Another possibility: Adam and Eve understood the consequences involved, but allowed their temptation to take over, despite the cost. Rabbi Judah ben Ilai maintained that Eve made wine from the real forbidden fruit: grapes. Adam and Eve were attracted by the grapes' intoxicating properties. Though they understood the severity of the consequences, in the heat of the moment they decided to eat the fruit anyway; it was worth the risk.
So which was it that marked the turning point for Adam and Eve—their desire to understand the world around them, or their giving in to temptation despite the known consequences? What led Scott to be so careless about his safety—his desire to understand his feelings, or his momentary temptation to explore them, despite the understood risk? Which forbidden fruit was it—the fruit of forethought, or the fruit of spontaneity?
Rabbis Meir and Rabbi Judah ben Ilai would like us to understand that there was a single forbidden fruit, but I would like to offer up another interpretation. Perhaps no specific forbidden fruit was mentioned in the Torah because it was not one fruit at all. As human beings, we face difficult challenges with unclear answers. It is not always possible to pinpoint a single cause for our errors. Sometimes our mistakes are the result of wheat, our curiosity to learn and our conscious effort to do so. Sometimes we allow grapes, our desires to cloud our better judgment. Sometimes, we make mistakes because we are tempted by a variety of forbidden fruits. Adam and Eve were tempted by wheat when they had a desire to learn, and by grapes when they were caught up in the moment of this desire. The fruit of the tree kept changing, once they began changing.
In the end, eating the fruit of the forbidden tree would prove to have grave consequences. But soon they would learn that the forbidden tree could take on additional forms. Rabbi Yossi suggests that it was a fig tree. This tree offered not only the fruit of knowledge, but large beautiful leaves with potential beyond which Adam and Eve understood before eating its fruit.
Bereishit 3 tells us that after eating from the tree of knowledge "Their eyes were opened and they perceived that they were naked and they sewed together fig leaves and made themselves loincloths" They ate the forbidden fruit in hopes of gaining knowledge, but in the end all they saw was that they were naked. They saw the nakedness of their actions. They realized they could not take back their mistakes, or hide them from G-d, but they needed to do something to overcome these mistakes. They took the leaves of the fig tree and created themselves loincloths. As Rabbi Nehemia taught, "by the very thing by which they were disgraced, they were restored". They used the forbidden tree to make the most of their outcome, and to turn away from making these mistakes again. They used this very tree as they worked towards tshuva.
Similarly, Scott realized that he could not go back in time and undo his mistakes. Because he did not protect himself, his HIV was here to stay. But that didn’t mean he would give up. On the contrary, Scott decided that he, too, would build something positive upon his transgression. He would become a speaker. Scott travels the world telling teenagers his story, encouraging them to always value and protect themselves, to not make his mistake.
Although the High Holiday season has come to a close, our work is far from over. We may understand the many reasons we made mistakes. We may have apologized. But the fruit of knowledge has something more to offer us. Adam and Eve teach us that even the source of our mistakes offers the materials of tshuva. Scott exemplifies how to transform our mistakes into blessings for others. This year, may we learn from their examples.

BIG NEWS!!!

2006-10-07T07:09:00.000-07:00

I had been counting down to this day since a month and a half ago. It seemed surreal to me. The day had finally come. I went to the airport at 11:00 on an Israeli Sheirut (a public van that picks up people from their door to take them to the airport). I arrived, eagerly waiting Josh's arrival. I hadn't seen him in 3.5 months. Today, October 6, was our anniversarry. I couldn't wait to celebrate it with him.

At about 1:30 he came through the airport doors. I ran over and gave him a huge hug. We couldn't stop smiling. We were on cloud 9. We finally got back to my place, catching up. We made a nice dinner, with salad, chicken, rice, challah, red wine, and evenually marzipan.

After our little feast, we decided to take a walk. We waled up Bezelel, and down Ben Yehuda, down Yafo and past HUC. On our way we saw people have dinner in their succahs, singing, eating, drinking, and celebrating. Succot is a 7 day holiday filled with joy. We eat, and spend time in termorary buildings called succahs. They are usually made with wooden or metal frames, and covered with more wood, curtains, branches, and huge leaves. They are then decorated with Christmas lights, tinsel, posters, fruit, and hanging crafts. Through the top of a succah one can always see the stars. It is a symbol of impermanence, a connection to those in our community who are pour and a connection to nature. We end succot with Simchat Torah: a day when we finish the Torah reading, and start the reading over again. We dance in the streets with the Torah, sing songs, and drink. It is also the day that marks the changing of season. It does not rain in Israel for most of the year. Just after Simchat Torah the rains begin. We celebrate their coming.

Josh and I walked along, happily, enjoying the signs of joy and simcha. We finally sat down on a little resting spot just outside of the old city. We started talking about the beauty of the old city, how far we had come over the past 5 years, and how much we love each other and can get through anything. We began to talk about our future, when in an instant he took out the most gorgeous ring and asked me to marry him. After catching my breath I screamed "Of course". I was completely suprised, and utterly speachless. The ring was his grandmothers, and she gave it to Josh in hopes that it will bring the two of us the kind of happiness that it brought her. I am, beyond a doubt, the happiest person alive. I am engaged to the love of my life, and my best friend. I am blessed with the most fabulous in-laws-to-be ever, who get along with and socialize with my parents. What could be better?

The boing! of Israeli Culture

2006-10-04T18:15:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure I will ever get used to certain aspects of Israeli culture: the lack of accessability for handicapped people, motorcycles and cars on the sidewalks, the infestation of cats, and the way Israelis boing. Its like the entire country has way too much estrogen. Emotions flair up and die down. One second an Israeli could be explaining to you that you are a goy, and the next second he could be inviting you in for a shabbat meal. One second an Israeli could be crying, and the next second coupled over with laughter. Emotions are worn on their sleaves. Its like the entire country is pregnant.

Although I cannot quite understand this phenomenon, I have certainly been privy to it in the past 24 hours. Last night I had more fun singing than I have since college when I was in the most wonderful Jewish a capella group, L'Shir. We learned really easy songs, which was quite the relief after the high holidays. We sang Kol Neidre for the rest of the choir, and Jay made a point to congratulate us for a beautiful job during services. The weather is finally cooling down and was absolutely stunning. After choir, some of us stayed singing songs from my favorite Broadway musical: Phantom of The Opera. It was amazing getting to sing songs using my soprano range. Melanie, a student Cantor with an unbelievable voice told me that I sounded like Sara Brightman, who I absolutely love. That made me feel really good.

I'm amidst a count down to see my boyfriend, who I haven't seen since I left for Israel, nearly 3.5 months ago. He will arrive Friday, which just so happens to be our 5 year anniversarry. In less than 2 days he will be here. I can't wait. We will spend most of the time in Jerusalem, with a couple day excursion to Tel Aviv. To tell you the truth, I don't care it matters too much to either of us what we do-- the important thing is that we will be together. Last night Josh and I stayed up very late getting excited about his visit.

I woke up this morning to a very strong up of coffee. I would need it. We departed for Yad V'shem (the holocaust memorial sight) at 8:30am. We entered the museum-- a space with a very intentional construction: a triangular hallway. In the distance was a stunning view of Israel. Behind was darkness. But we could not journey staight through this narrow hallway. The pathway was blocked off by exhibits, forcing us to go through a labyrinth of stories, faces, quotes, speaches, films and other mind blowing exhibits. In the For 3 hours we took our time internalizing the faces and stories of the many Jews persecuted at this time -- from cultral segregation to ghettos to consentration camps to mass executions. Antisemestic words, paraphanalia and speaches surrounded us from every side. We learned about the rise of Nazism in Germany. We learned about the rise of antisemitism, about the Nazi takeover of many European nations, about the struggle, conflict and suffering of the Jews and other Nazi victims. But all along we heard the stories of survivors. We passed many times through the crowded hallway, looking foward towards our symbol of hope: the land of Israel. The exhibit ended with Jewish children singing Hatikva-- "THE HOPE"-- the Israeli national anthem, followed by a room of martyrs, and heros, quotations and an outdoor lookout over Jerusalem.

It was not cold in the museum, but I had chills this entire time. I cannot fathom the life that these people went through-- the poor German, Polish, and Eurpoean children whose heads were filled with hatred and propoganda, the Jews and others who were victimed simply because they were not "the perfect race". The Jewish leaders who had to decide who would be sent to die, and who would be permitted to stay in the ghetto. The people who sacrificed their lives in to order to resist the Nazi regime. The people who had to say goodbye to family members, and their friends, knowing they would never meet again in this life. I can't fathom it. Not one bit. I have no tears to cry. I have no words of anger to scream. I can't even grasp the enormaty of one life living through this kind of torture let alone millions. I can't understand one young mind being corrupted let alone millions. I can't understand the hatred of one person for another, let alone the hatred of millions of Nazis for the Jews, and other non-aryan groups.

I wouldn't call myself a Zionist. As much as I love living in Israel, I have mixed feelings towards its existance. But as I left Yad V'Shem I picked up a pebble from the path to place on Herzl's grave. No matter which way you slice it, Israel has brought a sense of hope to the people of Israel that had been lacking during the dark years of the 30s and 40s. For that I owe Herzl and others an enormous amout of gratitude.

After visiting Herzl's grave, we went through the graveyard of fallen soldiers, including 22 year old Michael Levin, a young man from Pennsylvania who fell during Israel's war with Lebanon. He went to camp Ramah with my boyfriend, and was in USY with my friend Jeff.

After this very solumn experience, we washed our hands and headed out to succah decorating at HUC. The israeli culture: one big boing!

Have we entered the Twilight zone?

2006-10-03T22:20:00.000-07:00

At 4:45 a siren rings telling us it is time to begin the fast. Jamie Marx sits outside the choir room shoving the last of a pita into his mouth. Dean Marmur walks by saying "that's the fast bell". Jamie replies "Can't you see I'm eating as fast as I can?" The choir heads to Blaustien synagogue, a beautiful building on HUC's campus overlooking the old city. Outside the world of HUC, people dressed in white scurry into synogogues. Television programs cease. Radio programs cease. Lights at major intersections are turned off. Not a car is on the road. It is illegal to drive during these 25 hours (except for ambulenes of course). That's right-- this is the only day during the year that we don't need to worry about the biggest threat of all in Israel-- the drivers, on cars and motorcycles.

I look around our synogogue to see 400 hundred eyes waiting for the servie to begin. Dean Marmur gives a few words. I nervously make my way to the front of the room to light the candles and sing the blessing. I smile as friends over me complements. The service has begun. We sing in the choir. One by one cantors inspire us as they lead us in prayer. Dean Marmur and Eli guide us through a beautiful and meaningful ceremony. At 8pm, it is time to leave.

We go into the streets to find complete and total silence. People are sitting in the middle of the busiest intersections, wearing all white, and talking to one another. Thousands gather on Emek Refaim, Jerusalem's busiest street, to appologize to one another for any trasgressions they may have done. Israel, in one instant seemed to have been transformed.

The next day is a similar experience, silence as thousands upon thousands of Jews spend their days praying, fasting and obversing this day of judegement.

However, at 6pm, as the day ends, it takes about a minute for Jerusalem to be back to normal, busy streets, honking drivers... some things never change.

But I will never forget the haunting feeling of being in the holy city on the holy of holies-- Yom Kippur, and the way that this day overtook this busy city. It is unlike anything I had ever experience, and I highly doubt I will experience anything like it ever again.

For pictures check out the Loving's journal. I finally figured out how to use links (thanks Mara).

Tel Aviv: The Brooklyn of Israel

2006-09-27T21:50:00.000-07:00

The second I got off the bus in Tel Aviv I felt as though I was home. City blocks, cute stores and a variety of people filled the streets. People wore shorts and tank tops without being honked by cabbies. Orthodox Jews and teenagers with purple hair walked side by side. I felt like I was home-- in the kind of environment I feel most comfortable-- where people can be themselves, and can be accepted for who they are.

We spent the day learning about Tel Aviv-- its first settlers, how they built up the land and how it had changed. Turns out Tel Aviv has always been a place of progressive thought and advances. Less then 10% of the settlers from the first few alliyahs settled in Jafo-Tel Aviv.

They built up the land, founding a school right in the center of this town. They emphasized the importance of education. This building has since been turned into a mall/office buildings. There is a beautiful exhibit in textiles on the walls on this mall that demonstrate the expance of this town from no life to the bustling metropolis it is today.

We then went to Independance hall, the very place where the declaration of independance of Israel was given. Hundreds of little chairs from nearby cafes are still pushed together in this tiny room. We heard the tape of the address, and then we saw the document itself

We walked down the streets of Tel Aviv, comparing pictures of old to pictures of today. At one point we saw a building that symbolizes the Tel Aviv mindset: a non-kosher Chinese restaurant on the main floor of a building. On top of it? A Yeshiva.

We walked down Shankin street, where we found bubble tea! It was amazing. We had bubble tea frappes. I'm sure that if you put one of those places on Emek Refayim in Jerusalem. you could do pretty well. Sara, you interested? :)

Afterwards we went to the Palmach museaum, a museum about one of the Jewish army groups that fought for Israel's independance before and after the address. It was a sensory exhibit which took us through the lives of soldiers over the course of several years. The exhibit was aimed for Israeli kids who would grow up to be fighters. As such, it glorified war. It also left out details, such as the refugee problem. While I understand the importance of an exhibit such as this one, I am usually a fan telling more than one side to a story. Through it I certainly got a peek into the Israeli mindset. That was fascinating.

All in all Tel Aviv was an enriching and interesting experience. I can't wait to go back!

Holidays are in the air

2006-09-24T07:12:00.000-07:00

In Jerusalem, Rosh Hashannah is not just a 2 day holiday. It is a state a being. It is a feeling so powerful that it is palpable. The high holidays are in the air. Days before Rosh Hashannah women scramble around town collecting various supplies that will create festive Rosh Hashannah feasts. White clothes are displayed in almost every clothing store window. Every conversation ends with "Shana Tova". The posters of succot builders line every message board. The city streets become more crowded. The excitement is so prevalent, and so thick you can taste it. The high holidays are in the air.

I enjoyed my walks to and from HUC during Rosh Hashannah. The optomism and excitement was contagous. I came to HUC smiling. Being part of the high holiday choir is another treat. I am deeply impressed by the talent, dedication, and thought that each of the cantorial student puts into his/her music. It is inspiring.

And I can't help but feel grateful. The high holidays have that effect on me. After all, it was during Rosh Hashannah when I was little that I fell in love with Judaism. My aunt, cousin and I attended services. Somewhere in between, the festive music, the Rabbi's words, the congregation's prayers and my conversation with my cousin about what she was learning at Hebrew school, I realized I wanted to learn. I realized that I needed to learn about my religion, my culture, and my community. I felt at home for the first time in my life in a way I never before had. I still remember exactly how I felt. The excitement was so present it was palpable. I was very thankful.

Being in Israel for the high holidays feels right. When I was 7 years old I fell in love with Judaism, but now at the age of 24 I am falling in love with Judaism all over again-- but this time it is a more mature love. It is a love that understands that to be Jewish is to struggle, that the role of a Rabbi is not an easy one. At the same time, it is a love that apprecites all Judaism offers, and that realizes all of the possibilities and potentials even the challenges hold. It is a love I know I will have eternally. I can sense. I can feel it. And I am thankful.

Trip to the North

2006-09-16T22:32:00.000-07:00

This past week we had our first Tiyul of the year-- a three day trip to the kinneret, an area in northern Israel, near the sea of Galilee. For weeks we hoped that the situation in the North of Israel would be good enough that we would be allowed to participate in this tiyul. We were all delighted when we recieved the final yes.

We began our tiyul on Tuesday with a visit to the Rothchild gardens/Zichron Yaacov. In 1882, 100 Romanian pioneers purchased this land, in hopes of developing it. They faced many challenges such as mallaria, swamps, hard soil and their inexperience. Later we rafted in the Jordan River. Baron Edmond de Rothschild became a benefactor of the land, and after a great deal of struggle the land has been transformed into stunning grounds filled with vibrant trees and shady resting spots.

After an enjoyable lunch in Zichron, we went "kiyaking" in kfar blum. I say "kiyacking" with reservation, becaue in Israel it has a very different meaning: 4-6 people gather in a raft. One person sits in the front paddling, and another person sits in the back paddling with a paddle that is at least half the size it should be. Hayley, Miriam, our tour guide and I paddled our way down the Jordan river, splashing our classmates on our way. Josh Leighten enjoyed jumping from boat to boat. Gingy and Josh threw one another in the water. It was quite amuzing. At one point, we saw a beaver swimming in the water. It was a fabulous afternoon activity.

We went back to Kibbutz Gadot, where after a nice dinner, Sara Newman, Rebecca Reiss, Miriam and I bonded in our room. We stayed up late talking about our Jewish philosophies, learning troupe and discussing the intricacies in the Torah portion "Bereishit"-- the first portion in the Torah. Miriam and I are both writing out divrei torah on this portion.

Wednesday we had services at kibbutz Gadot. Josh Leighton blew the shofar. Kids from the kibbutz ran over to see the shofar, to learn about it and to touch it. Josh patiently showed all of them, to the delight of their teacher.

We then went to Kiryat Shmoneh to meet with psychologist Channa Manne. On the way we saw burnt trees and a couple homes that had been destroyed by ketusha rockets. Kiryat Shmoneh, near the Lebonese border, was one of the places most devistated by the war. Amazingly, most of the area has already been restored. Channa Manne spoke about what how it was to be a psychologist during this war. She would meet with people in states of rage, shock, depression, and grief. Sometimes people were nearly catatonic when she first met them. As an American in Israel, it is difficult for us to comprehend how anyone could live and cope in this kind of an environment. We shrug it off, saying "Israelis get used to it, so it is different to them". We realized just how human Israelis are when we heard the words of Channa. We found out that many of the people of this area are too poor to move, and many of them were trapped here during the war, depending solely on the generosity of others to take them in, and to transport them out of Kiryat Shmoneh. There were people who needed medical care, and whose attendants left when the situation became serious. People from all over the country took residents from Kiryat Shmoneh in, but there were still many many more who were not fortunate enough to recieve help. The spent most of their time in bomb shelters, if they were fortnate enough to have access to them. This experience helped me to comprehend just how devistating this war actually was.

After this very difficult discussion, we went to the Naot shoe factory. I got Josh a pair of sandles. He is a Naot devotee who wears his sandles into the ground almost every year. They no longer make the kind he loves, but I got a pair that is very similar for him.

Afterwards we went to the Golan Winery, where we watched the most rediculous movie about a wine genie helping to produce the perfect golan wines. (It was filled with rather amusing steriotypes of brooklynites, parisians and others). We saw the fields where grapes were grown and the the barrels wine was stored in. We then got a taste test of white, red and dessert wine. They taught us how to properly taste the wine. We then set out to the wine shop, to purchase a few choice selections for our wine and cheese party that evening.

After a discussion with one of the kibbutz founders about how the kibbutz has changed its vision, we drank wine, ate cheese and went to sleep. We had an early morning to wake up for.

On Thursday we woke up before the crack of dawn for a 5km hike in Nahal Gilaboon. We helped eachother down steep sections and over streams, laughing and chatting all the way.

The final stretch of the hike

Josh Leighten and I at the end of our hike

We went to a look out point, where a nearby mayor addressed us about the war. Afterwards we went to visit the graves of zionest settlers from the second alliyah. We read poetry and heard their heart wrenching stories of complete and total devotion to the state of Israel.

With a beautiful service just outside of this ceremony our tiyul had come to close.

Pinat Shoreshim

2006-09-09T16:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, a few of us embarked on a journey to Pinat Shorashim, a Reform Jewish community based out of Kibbutz Gezer, which is located about 30 minutes northwest of Jerusalem.

Kibbutz Gezer is devoted to environmental advocacy, and therefore uses no chemicals on its beautiful grounds.

The kibbutz/congregation has a mystical feel to it. All around are beautiful groves of all sorts of trees, together with quotes and artistic projects. Over the course of its existance, thousands of kids, tour groups, and even convicted criminals came to Pinat Shorashim to learn, explore and to create one of the many artistic projects displayed all throuout the grounds. One of my classmates took part in the creation of this one as a NFTYite several years ago. The paint was recently refreshed by a group of people from the Israeli jail:

We began the evening with a tour and discussion of our vibrant surroundings led by Kibbutz Gezer's project head, David Leichman. As Shabbat grew nearer, Rabbi Miri Gold took over. Rabbi Miri Gold is a very controversal figure in Israel. She is amidst a legal battle to gain status as a Rabbi despite her being a female.

Congregants and students gathered in the outdoor synagogue:

Children dressed in all white came out to be our Sabbath brides. The service was filled with instumental music and song. People brought drums. At the end small instuments were distributed throughout the congregation. We sang sangs, ate a nice dinner, shmoozed with kibbutz members and congregants, and then sang some more. It was a Shabbat experience I hope to someday repeat, perhaps when I am a Rabbi with my congregation...

http://www.pinatshorashim.org.il/

My buddy Benjamin

2006-09-04T21:35:00.000-07:00

It's difficult to be a Reform Jew in Jerusalem. Orthodoxy is engrained in Israeli culture, speach and politics. With the presence of so many traditional Jews in Jerusalem, this value system is even more prevalent here.
Reform Judaism, while older than orthodoxy, is newer to Israel. Israelis have difficulty understanding the difference between a secular Jew and a Reform Jew. The word "daat," which means religious, refers to Jews who follow more traditional practices (keeping Shabbat, keeping kosher, wearing modest dress, etc). It is difficult for an Israeli to understand that it is possible to be a religious reform Jew. It is even harder for them to understand what it means to be a Reform Rabbi.
For women, these problems are further complicated. Israelis have little experience with women Rabbis. There is simply no word for us. If a women walked through the streets of Jerusalem wearing a Kipa, she would be inviting a great deal of attention upon herself and would quite possibly be asked to explain (and defend) her beliefs. In fact, if a women wore a Tallit at the kotel, she could be arrested on the spot, and sentenced up to 5 years in jail. This is no light battle.
Although it pains me to do so, I take off my kipa most days while leaving the HUC campus. I am afraid of putting myself in harms way, and after a long day of classes I don't want to be asked to defend my beliefs. This is after all my city. I am a Jew.

With all this in mind, it is amazing to think about the person I met one beautiful Shabbat afternoon. I attended services at HUC, as I had many times before. I took off my Kipa, and began my walk home. I decided to walk a different way than I normally did, just to spice things up. Four blocks away from my house an older man with a gray beard, and plain clothes called out to me from across the street. He told me that he lived just up the block, and he asked if I would listen to him say the kiddish (the prayer over the wine). If someone is present to witness and affirm one's prayer over wine, the prayer is said to be that much more special and holy. I hesitantly went with him to a small garden outside of his apartment. He said the bracha and drank the wine. He told me a little bit about his life as an orthodox Israeli. He lived in this small apartment by himself. He had many friends, but no family. He asked me about where I came from and what I am doing in Jerusalem. I told him that I am a Rabbinical student at HUC. He had heard of HUC and knew that it was a Reform Seminary. He said that to what I am doing is really important. He thanked me for listening to him say the kiddish, and said that I was sent from G-d. He was glad to have met me, and would like to study Torah with me in the future.
I was completely awestuck. I have been so nervous to wear my kipa in public for fear of orthodox reaction, and here was an orthodox Jew who praised me for what I am doing and wanted to study Torah with me?!?! It seemed too good to believe.
I ran into him again a couple days ago, and he again extended the offer to study with him. I was happy to accept. He then asked me if I am married or engaged. "No," I said, "but I have a very serious boyfriend" "Will you marry him?" he asked. "Yes, I will marry him" "Then, I am sorry," he said "If you have someone you will marry, in the eyes of Jewish law you are married, and since I am not, I cannot study with you, but I am glad to have met you and I wish you all the luck" He then suddenly needed to go.
While it appears that I will never be able to study or get to know Benjamin, I feel very blessed and humbled to have met him. He taught me a very powerful lesson: that Jews, even orthodox Israeli Jews can be extremely openminded and accepting. I do not like feeling judged for being a female reform rabbi-to-be. Similarly, it is important that I do not give into my prejudices about others.
I'm not saying that I feel comfortable wearing my kipa through the streets of Jerusalem-- I don't know if I will ever be. But I am now certainly open to the possibility. Thanks to Benjamin, my hope for Reform-orthodox relations in Jerusalem has grown enormously. I wonder how he would react if I told him so...

Highlights from a Greek vacation

2006-09-02T12:38:00.000-07:00

Well its official. My summer break is coming to a close. My trip to Rhodes was exactly what I needed. The 13 of us HUCers spent our 5 days in Greece exploring the old and new cities, going to Lydos, and relaxing at the beach and hotel pool. There were 4 pools at the hotel-- one indoor, 2 for kids, and one for adults, complete with a swim-up bar.

A few highlights:

Architecture. There were lots of castles and walls. Very pretty to see. We were hoping to inside of one of the castles, but inside were cheap tourist shops rather than anything we expected.

Water gym. Every day at 11:30am, team entertainment was in prime form. Team entertainment consisted of 2 Greek men who loved to shake their tucheses and to get all of the women to dance around with them. Every day 30 women entered the pool to dance with one very querky member of team entertainment. They taught amusing Greek dances, and had us jumping around like lunatics in no time.

Trip to Lydos: We took a 2 hour boat ride from the old city to Lydos. The water on the trip was the brightest and bluest I had ever seen. We arrived at a beach with water so crystal clear that you could see fish 10 feet below. Lydos is a huge mountain. On the top is a castle. Since the mountain is so steep, we rode donkeys half way up. There were found artsy stores, cafes and greek restaurants. After a relaxing afternoon in Lydos, we hopped back on the boat. Half way through our trip back to the old city, the boat stopped in order to give us an opportunity to jump in the ocean! We swam around for 20 minutes, and continued on our journey.

The butterfly garden: One of my favorite parts of the trip was our visit to the butterfly garden. I think you all know by now how very much I love butterflies, so this was a real treat. The garden/park is a natural piece of greenery. Every summer thousands of butterflies travel there to live and mate. When the summer is over they fly away in various directions. There were so many butterflies, in fact, that if you did not know better you would think that the thin coating of butterfly wings was actually an unusual bark of a tree!

I was with really wonderful people, and I am so very happy that I went. It was the most relaxing vacation I think I have ever been on. Exactly what I needed before the start of the year.

The past couple days I have been a little anxious about what this semester will bring. There are certainly a lot of adventures and challenges ahead. However, this afternoon, as I learned the chanting of the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs of the Shema, Emily sat in her room reading a book in Jewish Education, and Mary sang litugical melodies, I couldn't help but smile. This is exactly where I want to be, and whatever lies ahead I can't wait. Let fall semester begin!

The end of Ulpan has arrived

2006-08-26T03:56:00.000-07:00

The final week of Ulpan is now over. I gave my 10 minute hebrew presentation, took my last final, and sat through my orientation for next semester.

I am amazed by how quickly the year has flown by so far. It makes me sad to think that I have less than 9 months left of Rabbinical school in Jerusalem. There is nothing like living in this historial, spiritual and cultural Jewish land while studying, praying, living and breathing Judaism. At the same time, it is exciting to thing that I only have 9 more months away from my wonderful boyfriend, and then we will be together for the rest of our lives. It tears at me sometimes, but I could not be happier to be here, doing what I am doing, where I am doing it. I have a lot to be thankful for.

Lately I've been spending time with different people in my class. A few days ago I purchased a truly beautiful Shofar, as did a classmate of mine, Stephanie. The two of us got together to practice blowing the Shofar. We were both pretty bad, but getting better by the second. And as we say there talking, shofaring and laughing I wondered why we hadn't spent more time together earlier.

We did spend more time together this week, although I hope in the future it is under better circumstances. Thursday, just as we were leaving HUC at the end of the day, Stephanie was hit by a motocycle. Amazingly, she did not have any internal bleeding of any sort, did not break any bones, and was fully conscious. She was able to leave the scene with scrapes, and bruises, and a horribly scary memory. Fortunately her fiance arrived last night, and they will be spending time together this week. Her spirit and optimism after that ordeal are truly inspiring. She is leaving for vacation to Turkey tomorrow.

Last night, I had Shabbat dinner with Josh, Aaron, Jessica, Kate and David-- 5 people I spend all too little time around. Dinner started around 8, and when we looked at our watches at 1:00 in the morning we were stunned by how quickly the time had flown. We had so much to talk about- including our relationships, the state of and mission for HUC, and for Reform Rabbis. What was expected of us, and how did we feel about those expectations? Almost everyone at the table was on the more traditional end of reform judaism. We spoke about our commitment to the reform mindset, but our desire to know far more than we will be taught at HUC. We spoke about the difficulties in making a community comfortable for the most traditional and the most liberal members of our community. How can we help the form movement to actually live up to the idea of choice through knowledge? It was comforting to know that classmates of mine are battling with similiar ideas. Their concerns make me hopeful that the reform movement has a lot of positive changes ahead of it. I am proud to be amoung leaders working for that change.

Tomorrow I leave on vacation to Greece. I'm very excited to get away from HUC for a few days with my fellow classmates (some of whom I still do not know very well) to explore a country I have yet to step foot inside of. It will be a nice break before full blown fall semester begins.

Beit Cafe more successful than imagined

2006-08-21T22:35:00.000-07:00

One of the most rewarding things I did at HUC this year was working with an innovative, passionate and talented committee on a very important project. Reacting to the ongoing war with Lebanon, 6 of us got together to raise much needed funds to aid the suffering families of the north. We decided to run a Beit Cafe. Students from our class would sign up to perform an eclic array of acts-- from singing original songs to doing a magic show, improv, drama, and comedy. Students would offer various services for a silent auction (shabbat dinner, guitar lessons, coffee for a week at the moadon, dance lessons, etc). Some students would bake goods to be sold at the Beit Cafe. Pizza, drinks, informative centerpieces put together by the tzedek committee, and a lot of outside help would make this event a success.

This Beit Cafe was to be Molly Kane's Cd release party-- a delightfully funny colglomeration of original songs you can only fully appreciate if you know Molly. She was also the very amusing MC for the evening.

At 6pm the doors open, and over the course of the evening 50 people attended, including some faculty members, HUC students and friends. The performances were fantastic. The auctions went beautifully. We sold all of the pizza, most of the baked goods (which were amazing), and everyone had a fantastic time. The amazing part: over the course of the evening, we raised over 4000 NIS --- equivalent to almost $1000.00 of needed finances for families in the north.

The HUC community came together with such sprit for this event. There is not a person in my class who I do not have the upmost respect for. When we come together, there clearly is no limit to what we can do.

So I AM in Rabbinical School

2006-08-17T21:09:00.000-07:00

The past 5 weeks have been brutal. 4.5 hours a day of Hebrew, while enjoyable, and certainly important for my future, is at times a bit much. I sometimes felt that I was more in kindergarden than I was in a Rabbinical program.

Today was a special day though. We broke up in 5 groups, having an opportunity to do some real hands on understanding. We learned how to do Hagba, how to call people up for an aliyah, went over the choreography of the service, learned about tefillin and how to wrap them, and we learned about the symbolence of the tallit. I already knew most of the information we were discussing, but that didn't stop a smile emerging from my face as we went over these various practices.

Towards the end of the workshop, Naamah explained what was expected of us this year. As a Rabbinical student, I will be co-leading one Shachrit service on a Monday (Torah service), will be giving a D'var Torah, Hagbah, Golelet, and reading torah. Very exciting!

I hope you will excuse me for a minute as I complain about the Torah reading portion. It feels strange to me that we only need to read 3-4 Psuekim (lines) of Torah. During student led services, which we had all summer long, we read 8-9 psukim, and handled them beaufully. I understand that this reading is a combined chanting/reading of the Torah and translation/interpretation of the portion read. However, I promise you that as a Rabbinical student I really can handle more than 3-4 lines. I'm hoping they'll let me do more.

After Naamah announced how services would work, students scrabled for their service partners. I kind of sat back and allowed them to scramble. Lisa Kinsington and I later found one another and thought about doing services together. I could not be more pleased by how it worked out. Lisa and I get along very well, and as an education student she brings a lot of different things to the table than I do. I think it will be very enriching and exciting to work with her.

I'm also a bit nervous about the D'var. I was hoping to have a course in how to write a D'var Torah before I would need to give my first D'var to the class. Some students will give Divrei Torah in the very first week of the first semester, and will not have another chance all year-- without being given more formal education in how to do this. That said I'm quite sure the faculty is open, available and excited to help us to formulate our Divrei Torah. Without their help, our Divrei Torah will be formulated based on the methods we know before starting our education at HUC. I guess this is a seminary, and it is graduate school and it is up to us to seek the help we need. I think this program will just take some getting used to.

Although I do have my concerns about how the service leading process will go this year, I am really excited to be partaking. I can't wait to research and give a D'var Torah. I can't wait to lead Shacharit services with Lisa and the service leading team, to read Torah, do Hagbah and Golelet. Heck, I can't even wait for rehearsals-- to see what advice faculty will give each of us, and what I should work on to improve each of these skills. I can't wait to learn from my classmates as they partake in this exciting endevour. In just a few short weeks, the new semester, and with it, this adventure will begin.

Trip to the beach

2006-08-13T23:43:00.000-07:00

Today, after Ulpan around 25 of us took a trip to a beach around Tel Aviv. It was a well-needed glimpse of the break awaiting us.

Sara, Courtney and I enjoying the fresh breeze and clear water

Miriam leaping for joy

Shabbat gone wild

2006-08-12T23:14:00.000-07:00

Last night 50 HUC students and friends gathered outside to partake in a progressive dinner. Singing through the streets of Jerusalem, we stopped at student's apartments for wine, bread, salad, main courses, more wine, and of course dessert. At each of the houses we said a prayer or discussed a tradition. One of these interesting excercises included saying the Kiddish femenine. This made us very aware of how masculine the prayer inherently is. We discussed the washing of the hands, and other customs. When we came out the last house, out came the guitars.

For hours we sat around drinking wine, singing and making Jewish jokes. We were all at our happiest, enjoying Shabbat, our community and our culture.

I was convinced that few people would come to our Shabbat luncheon the next day. After 4 or 5 hours of our progressive dinner, surely they would want some time to themselves. I was pleasantly surpised to see that I was wrong, as 50 HUC students, and friends piled into our apartment for a very enjoyable Shabbat lunch. These are pictures from the fabulous afternoon:

Beau, Josh, Kate, Phil, Lisa and others enjoying Shabbat lunch
Left to right: Samantha, Sandra and Melanie
Left to right: Emily, Mary, Hayley, Sandra, Melanie, Me

Tomorrow we take a trip to the beach in Tel Aviv. What a fabulous few days!

Below the surface

2006-08-11T23:15:00.000-07:00

Today I went below the surface of the 2nd temple Kotel wall. I walked along the foundation of this holy place-- and under the foundation stone of the holy of holies. The Holy of Holies, is thought to be the holiest place. It was a location in the inner tabernacle in the time of Moses. It became was small spot (10 cubits by 10 cubits) inside the temple that only the high priests could enter, on only on Yom Kippur. Each Yom Kippur they went to this holy spot to say the name of G-d (the true name of G-d that only they knew) and to sprinkle the blood of an animal upon the arc of the covenant.

In modern times, this spot is home to the dome of the rock. While we cannot visit the holy of holies above land, It was quite the experience to walk below the foundation stone of this very holy spot. We stopped a minute offer our prayers.

When we emerged from this journey, we overlooked the kotel. There, to our disbelief was a very large grouping of orthodox men, women and children. They were singing Kol Nidre. The leader of this prayer sang with a piercing voice that cut straight to the soul. We were told that in times of war, people sometimes gather to pray for the state of Israel, the soldiers, and the future. Everyone brings their children. The presence of the children makes the prayers more powerful-- perhaps because the children are the future of this state of Israel.

It's fascinating that the chosen prayer was Kol Nidre-- the prayer said on Yom Kippur as we ask for forgiveness of our sins, for fair judgement. It is a prayer we say as we make vows for the future. What does saying this prayer during times of war mean? I'm not really sure.

The mysteries of Jerusalem are still unfolding.

WorldPride

2006-08-09T22:03:00.000-07:00

Last night was an important milestone for land of Israel: The WorldPride Multifaith Convocation ceremony. People of all different faiths came together in Jerusalem, at Hebrew Union College, to call for tolerance, acceptance, and co-existence. Together we proclaimed that homosexuality is not contrary to religious practice, as some fundamentalists might believe. True religion calls for an acceptance of people, regardless of sexual orientation.

Throughout the evening, many speeches were given. Rabbi Kleinbaum of the largest GLBT Synagogue in America, openly gay Bishop Zackary Jones of Brooklyn, Reverand Pat Bumgardener and Irshad Manji, author of The Trouble of Islam Today: A Muslim’s Call for Reform in Her Faith inspired us with their spirit, their presence and their words.

I was proud to be a part of the choir that sang at this ceremony—to play a small part in this historical event, and in so doing to demonstrate my support.

As I look back on the evening, one speaker’s words in particular stand out in my mind: author Irshad Manji. Manji spoke with an unparalled passion. She shared with us her struggles, as a religious Muslim lesbian living in America. While producing a TV production dealing with gay rights, a coworker left an envelope on her desk. Inside was the story of a young girl who had been raped. Despite there being several witnesses speaking out against the rapist, the girl was given a very severe punishment for her sexual relations with name. Next to the text of the article, her co-worker wrote that he would like to understand how she can explain such horrible things within the context of her faith. At first this made her angry and upset—who was he to question HER faith. After some time had passed she realized that his question was an important one and one she couldn’t run away from it any longer. She wasn’t upset by his chutzpa in asking the question. Rather she was upset by her inability to answer it. She saw this as a wake up call --- a need to sometimes step out of her own self... to step out of her comfort zone. Although she felt comfortable expressing her beliefs about being a homosexual Muslim, there are many people who feel the need to hide their inner identity—that are constantly struggling within themselves to balance what the world expects from them, and who they really are. There are people who are killed, physically hurt and threatened for being homosexual. She learned from this that sometimes it is important to step back from one’s life and think about where others are coming from and what they need. Although many of us feel comfortable being who we are, and do not have the same safety concerns as this young girl, there are all too many people who do. People sometimes use religion to be a form of exclusion rather than inclusion, and to make these people feel horrible for being, in essence, who they are. Irshad Manji bravely and vibrantly spoke about her efforts in spreading a different kind of message: that religion is love and inclusiveness. Those using the religion to exclude or demean others does not understand the religion. Irshad Manji called for all of us to spread the message of inclusion and to help others to feel comfortable openly being who they naturally are. If we can step outside of the comfort of our lives in order to allow others to taste their own comfort, there is no ending to the good we can do.

This conference was a huge step in the right direction. But alas, we have a long way to go..

Tisha B'Av in a living, breathing Jerusalem

2006-08-04T10:06:00.000-07:00

I wondered for a long time about what it would be like to spend Tisha B'av in a living, breathing Jerusalem. Tisha B'av is a day when the first and second temples burned, and were destroyed. This is the day when the Bar Kochba revolt was crushed by Roman Emperor Hadrian. The city of Betar was captured and over 100,000 Jews were killed. Jews were expelled from Spain on Tisha B'av in 1492. World War One broke out on the eve of Tisha B'av in 1914, setting the stage for 2 world wars and eventually the holocaust. On the eve of Tisha B'av in 1942, the mass deportation of Jews from the Warsaw Ghetto en route to Treblinka began. This is a deadfully scary day for the Jewish people, commemorated by saying lamentations, fasting and being in mourning-- both for the many people who died on this day, and for the loss of the temple.

While the Jewish people did not live in Israel, and the Jewish people as a whole lived in the diaspera, this was a day of longing to be in Jerusalem, to be at the sites of the the first and second temples.

Today, however, many Jews do live in Jerusalem. We do not own the temple mount, but we are able to go to the very walls from the second temple. We are able to come together as people-- to pray, to live, and to have our own goverment. Surely it would be very different to commemorate Tisha B'av in Jerusalem than it was 70 years ago in the diaspora.

As Tisha B'av began this year, HUC students gathered in the HUC garden, just next to the old city, with candles in hand. We sat on the ground, praying, singing solumn songs, reading lamentations, and forming a supportive community.

Afterwards we watched a film about the holocaust, I think meant to invoke something in us to help us appreciate Tisha B'av. Much more powerful was the adventure we had afterwards. At around 10:30 pm, a group of us head over the Western Wall, the kotel-- the very wall behind which the temple stood until 70 CE, when it was destroyed. This was my first trip to the Kotel since arriving in Jerusalem this year. As we approached we saw hundreds and hundreds upon hundreds of Jews, all coming to this meeting spot on this very important day. The men's side of the wall, the woman's side of the wall, the courtyard behind these sides, and the entire pathway leading up to the kotel were all packed with Jews of every kind. Some Jews were crying and praying at the wall. Some brought sleeping bags, and were camped our there for the night. Some were singing songs, both Hebrew and other foreign languages. Others came to meet up with old friends, and were smoking cigarettes, and hanging out. The variety of Jews and eclectic variations of reasons that they chose to come to this spot on this very night was astounding. I was truly awestruck.

There were people in my class upset by this display, feeling that it was innapropriate for people to be smoking and hanging out with friends here, as others wept for the loss of the temple. I felt otherwise. No matter what these Jews chose to do at the temple mount site, they were present. The went out of their way to meet up at this spot, which historically is the spot our ancestors gathered during sukkot, pesach, and shavuot during the times of the 1st and 2nd temples.

I took a few moments myself to walk up to the kotel, to press my head against its ancient stones and to pray. I prayed for the soldiers currently in the north and the south, at war. I prayed for the families who were trapped there. I prayed for the innocent civilians in Lebanon. I prayed for the peace of the many souls who were killed for being Jews, for defending their religious freedom, their culture and their community, and for the brave non Jews who were killed for helping Jews to maintain their freedom. As I walked away from the wall, I wondered what others were praying for. Were they praying for a 3rd temple to be built? Were they thinking about the many people who passed away on this tragic day? Were they thinking about the soldiers in the north and south of Israel? Or were their prayers more personal? If they were more personal, was that okay?

I thought for a long time about that last question--- about how to mesh personal prayer with something so big and powerful at Tisha Bav. I came to the conclusion for myself that of course it is okay. When we mourn the loss of Jewish life, we mourn the individuals. We mourn their personal prayers, ambitions, personalities, hopes and dreams. For people to come to the kotel, or even to come together in the diaspera to pray their own prayers on this night sends a very hopeful message.

Its true Tisha Bav is a tragic day. But it is also true that the Jewish people is very much alive. When each individual personality comes together to pray his own prayer in his own way that is sign of true life, of true hope, and of true religious spirit.

My hour and a half at the western wall was time filled with hope. It was a time of strength, of campassion, and of longing, but even more so togetherness. This, to me, is the true message of Tisha B'av--- that we must always remember the tragedies of the past, but it is even more important, to find hope in the Jewish livelihood of today. For me, the most powerful to celebrate Tisha B'av is to mourn, to fast, and to observe the customs until Tisha B'av afternoon, and then to turn this time of mourning into a time of rebuilding--- of doing tzedekkah, of having interfaith diaglogue-- of trying to understand our fellow human beings, and doing everything we can to assist them, so that events like the ones of our past won't need to reoccur. It is transforming Tisha B'av from an commemmoration of past tragedy to a working together for a better tomorrow. Our world is a better place because of our ancestors. It's our turn to make the world a better place for our decendants.

My trip to hell

2006-07-27T21:20:00.000-07:00

Today I went to hell. No, not the demon filled furnace of Satan. We went to Gai Ben Hinnom-- a beautiful field filled with greenery, happy families picnicing and the smell of fresh air. The nickname, Ghenna, is the hebrew word for hell. But how, you ask could just a beautiful valley be nicknamed something so horrible?

Jerimiah informs us that at this very spot, Israelites sacrificed their children the the god, Mollech. Any place where parents would sacrifice their own children is a place where noone should ever need to live. This is the Jewish idea of hell. It is not the Christian idea of being punished, and being sent to eternal damnation. Rather, it is a place in the real world, where no one should ever need to be.

Sitting in this valley, watching children play and families have a late afternoon snack, I was again struck by the aknowledgement that I am sitting in Jewish history. I am here, at the very spot where these horrible things happened thousands of years ago. It puts a lot in perspective.

Today we saw grave sites from the time of the 2nd temple. We saw a model of the 1st temple, and Mt. Zion.

And as we walked through this historical tiul I didn't know what to feel or think. But here I am, leisurely studying, building new and exciting relationships. And here is where an uncoutable number of Jews have lived before me. Their history, and mine, is unfolding before my eyes.

Seriously? Seriously!

2006-07-21T01:51:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Sternbuch, the head of the extremist Eda Haredit rabbinic court, contends that the Israeli war with Lebanon, and the conflict in Gaza strip are a direct result of the planning of the International Gay Pride Parade in Jerusalem. Because Israel has "not protested enough against this parade of abomination," this military situation serves as our warning. He pleeds with his supporters "Who knows where things will get to if we do not act further and more stringently against it."

You can read more about Rabbi Sternbuch's misguided views here:
http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1153291951736&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull

The sad thing is (as if this belief weren't bad enough) that Rabbi Sternbuch is recognized in the state of Israel as a real Rabbi, while knowledgable, moral and understanding Rabbis from the reform, conservative, and reconstructionist movements are not.

Seriously...

The many adventures of my week

2006-07-20T22:56:00.000-07:00

I am proud to say that I have now officially completed my first week of Ulpan (intensive Hebrew class). To my suprise Gimmel (the third level) class is working out fine for me. It is challenging, but I feel really good about it. The funny thing is that Emily (a communal service/education student), Mary (Cantorial) and I lived together in hopes that we would be taking different classes, and have our own time built into our day. Little did we know that our hebrew levels were about the same, and we are in the same Hebrew class. At it turns out, we will have the same people in many of our other classes throughout the year.

In addition, each year the Cantorial students form a High Holiday choir. To even out the voices and sounds of the choir, open auditions are held for rabbinic and dual degree students who wish to particiapte. I got in, and Mary and I are singing the same part. I'm not worried about it, but I do think it is pretty ironic.

A few days ago, I got to see a side of my fellow students I hadn't previously been able to see-- the spiritual one. Yes, we had been attending services, orientations, social events, and hebrew classes together, but Tuesday was the first time we got together to really talk about spirituality. We broke into groups, sharing what spirituality is to us-- the importance of community, of a connection to G-d, of music, nature, and the spirituality we feel as people in a new place, beginning a new life here in Israel. We spoke about what it means to crumble before G-d and experiences we have felt the most connected to our spirituality. We were given quotes, which we reflected on, discussed in our small groups and then as a whole. Listening and discussing with my fellow classmates, I was reminded with great intensity about why I am in Rabbinical school, and I became really excited to have my fellow students as my future collegues.

On Wednesday night, HUC students broke into our first study session groups. Emily, Mary and I are in different groups for this exercise, and amazingly are with the groups we most identify with. My tour guide/teacher is Rabbi Wolfson, but we call him Gingi (got to love the informality of Israeli life!). The study session began with a near sprint to a hilltop a few minutes away from HUC. When we got there we realized why we had come. The sun was just beginning to set over the old city. A yellowish glow began to take over the land, and we really understood why Jerusalem is referred to as the city of Gold. We discussed King David, the akkedia (the binding of Isaac that took place at the Dome of the Rock, in the distance), and we sang songs. We spoke about the meaning of the word Yerushalim-- cities of peace. Yes, you read right. It is referring to 2 cities-- the city that is and the city that we hope for it to become. As the sun continued to set, church bells rang, and muslims were called to prayer. In our own way, all three religions were working to help make Jerusalem the city we all would like for it to be.

Yesterday we took our first field trip to the city of David. We looked down on the land, seeing how the hills were shaped in such a way that they actually look like a shin (for Shadai-- one of G-d's names). We looked at the way the city was devided, a clear line dividing dessert from greenery.

Then we walked through the sewers of Jerusalem. Sounds pretty disgusting, doesn't it? Well, it really wasn't. You see, nearly 3000 years ago, King Hezekiah of the Judeans built this tunnel so that his people would have a constant pool of water to use, even while at war with their enemies. We walked through this long, dark tunnel for nearly 45 minutes. The water was ice cold, and for a minute we all wondered if we could do this. Then as we got used to it, we began to have fun. We began to sing songs, beginning with favorites "Mayim Mayim", and "David Melekh Yisrael". Then we got more creative with our 10 minute rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody. I'm telling you there's nothing like walking through 3000 year old tunnels singing Bohemian Rhapsody at the top of your lunges, hearing the echos in front and behind you. It was one of my most interesting and fun experiences in Israel this far.

This morning I am getting ready to go to southern Israel. I was asked to songlead for a NFTY trip down there. I am looking forward to a peaceful, fun and enjoyable shabbat. When I return I am looking foward to a week of more unexpected and high fufilling adventures.

17th of Tamuz, Real time

2006-07-13T09:08:00.000-07:00

The 17th of Tamuz begins a period of mourning. On this date, the Israeli walls were breached, leading to the destruction of the Temple. How ironic then, that I sit here in Israel on the 17th of Tamuz, as Israel begins a 2 front war with Hezbollah/Lebanon and Chamas/Egypt. Although this experience certainly gives me a better understanding of this commemorative date, it is unfortunate that any of us should have to undergo such a lesson.

We spent most of today's orientation talking about Israeli culture, politics and security issues. The security briefing seemed to have made many people rather nervous. It actually helped me feel better--finally my classmates and the administration had entered a dialogue. After seeing the shelling in Gaza with my eyes 2 weeks ago, and hearing it with my own ears, I have a new understanding of the situation. I think many of my classmates were in denial, or simply did not know how to respond. How could they? This is a very new, and unfortunate experience noone should ever have to get used to.

I did not know how to respond either, though after experiencing the shelling on Gaza from 7 miles away, denial was no longer an option for me. As I heard the news of soldiers being captured, and of rockets and shells being exchanged on 2 fronts, my memory of the soul-piercing sound of launching shells, and deep gray smoke exploding in the distance haunted my inner most thoughts.

Last night I lay in bed for a very long time, contacting family and friends, desperately seeking to converse about this with someone who would understand. My college friend Adi helped me more than she could possibly know.

This morning I woke up, still nervous, but hopeful. I came to the realization that I am thankful to be in Israel-- that coming to the Jerusalem campus to study for my first year is an important part of my dream. Everywhere I look, the beauty of Israel surrounds me. I can walk to the western wall, talk to Israelis. I am a part of Israeli life. This experience is a treasure that I will hold on to and cherish for as long as I can. I want to be here for the year, and I hope and pray that the situation will become safer quickly. Right now, that is all I really can do, but I am okay with that. Friends, family, and the experience of a lifetime are enough to get me through the dramatic culture shock, and explosive situation Israel is currently involved with. In my book, that makes me pretty lucky.

A special Shabbat

2006-07-08T13:30:00.000-07:00

For the first time on my own, I chose to keep Shabbat. I used no electricity, wrote nothing, spent no money, etc, etc. And I have to say it was a different experience, and a really nice one.

Shabbat began with a beautiful dinner at a fellow student's apartment (Rachel's). We then went to a gay and lesbian shule on Ben Yehuda street, where this student was leading services. I had no idea such a thing existed, and I was delighted to spend my erev shabbat in such an important community.

I then spent time getting to know one of my fabulous roommates-- Emily. From there I went to another fellow student's place--Carla. Carla was also experimenting with keeping Shabbat. Since I am staying 40 min from HUC, didn't want to take a cab on Shabbat, and it was too dangerous to walk alone, Carla offered that I stay there last night. We stayed up late chatting.

In the morning I went to HUC services, which were fantastic. There were so many people there that there were 4 cocurrant services! I heard fabulous things about each and every one!

At around 12:30, 40 HUC students packed into Beau's apartment to have a wonderful shabbat lunch. It was a very cozy, loud, but enjoyable mid day shabbat activity. Then it was time to walk to my apartment, to take a nap, read, and then head back to HUC for a Havdallah service and Ice cream (Haggendaz-- YUM!). I met alumni of the HUC programs there.

I am so happy I had this relaxing, spiritual and fulfilling new Shabbat experience. I also found this week's torah portion very fitting for my current state of being. The worlds "Mah tovu ohalecha Yaakov miskenotecha Yisrael" are in this week's parsha. They mean "How great are your tents, Jacob, your dwelling places O Israel" Rabbi Wolfson explained that this statement contains a progression. Just as Jacob becomes Yisrael, Jacob's tents become more permanent homes for the Jewish people. This past week, I have been living out of a suitcase, in a very impermanent home. Tomorrow I will move into an apartment where I will spend the next 11 months of my life. Shabbat has left, and with it, so too is the impermanence of my living situation. My stay in Israel is slowly progressing, as Jerusalem becomes my home.

4th of July in Jerusalem

2006-07-04T23:54:00.000-07:00

At around 5:00pm, 25 HUC students walked into a burger resteraunt downtown. For just a moment we could forget we were in Jerusalem. Little american flags lined the restaurant. We had our ceremonial burgers and fries, while chatting and getting to know one another.

From there we went to Congregation Kol Haneshema for a covered Simon and Garfunkel concert. As they began their first song, the crowd's jaws dropped, both because they sounded remarkably like the real Simon and Garfunkel, and because of their selection for a first song: Mrs. Robinson. There is nothing like being in shul in Jerusalem watching the performers sing "Jesus loves you more than you will know" in front of the Aaron Kodesh (The arc that holds the Torah).

The concert was very moving and inspiring. It was so beautiful to be in this comfortable community. At one point I found myself listening very closely to the words of "The Sound of Silence," thinking about the depth silence holds-- and how everyone of us in the room and in the country has a bond that goes beyond words. I imagined how meaningful it might be to run a workshop on the many meanings of silence. I felt truly inspired by the setting, the surrounding kavanah and the subject.

In that moment I realized that everything in Israel has the potential to be inspiring. My year in Israel is like a Shabbat for my soul. It already surrounds me with inspiration, awe, presence and community in a new and highly fufilling way. I hope that I can treasure this gift as much as possible, and come the end of the year, that I can carry a piece of it with me whereever I go so that I can find inspirations wherever my journey takes me.

I am so very excited to begin the year.